"Jessica cardigan"

Crochet on the Channel Tunnel

I felt very uneasy about taking the Channel Tunnel over back to England for Christmas. To set your minds at rest it's fine, it's just a train and your cars go on it and it takes you from A to B and you can put your feet up and CROCHET!

But because I was a little scared I bought a Crochet magazine at the terminal to keep my mind occupied, plus lots of yarn. Before I start talking about the stitch and the pattern I do need to say that I fell out a bit with this project because the white yarn I was using became unavailable and I didn't buy enough to complete the striped pattern that I started. Lesson to us all! I felt that a project following a pattern would keep my attention focused more than making something up myself. Sometimes when I have nothing to refer to or read or that involves problem solving, I can easily lift my head and start to think of other things. That is something I've learnt, if I keep my eyes concentrated on a project then my mind often follows. When I'm really involved in a project time also passes quickly.

I've made cardigans before but only ever with a structure of two front panels and one back panel, this pattern allowed you to continue the cluster stitch around the body in one full pattern, so it felt a bit like I was crocheting a blanket at times.

I really love this stitch. I think it's great for a cardigan and very comforting because of the thickness but it's still flexible. Regarding the choice of colour, I find this part of a project difficult. I didn't want the colours in the pattern so I chose my own, but throughout a project like this, I am also questioning my colour choice. I don't mind in a smaller project but sometimes I lack in confidence when it comes to design. 

It's silly really, I put certain techniques or crafts into the 'arts' category and others into the 'design' category and because I've filed these away in my mind anything remotely 'design' gives me self doubt. I've felt this way before, particularly at University. It's not that I am bothered by the aspect of being better at somethings than others, it's great to identify your strengths, but when I tell myself I can't do things before I even give it a go I feel like I'm so apprehensive and judgemental whatever I do already has an air of negativity and disappointment. This is something very true of life, if you believe in yourself you tend to perform better, and even if that's just an illusion self belief is more important than success. Something I need to work on. This also leads on to not caring what others think or comparing yourself to others, just choose the colours you want to and think they're great because I chose them...??